prometheus – the one that never should’ve been made

Just saw Prometheus, I waited so long, should’ve waited longer.

It’s about a team of scientists that go in search of a planet in which they believe is where life on Earth originated. They take two years of space travel to finally arrive, they start exploring this alien world and some stuff happens, oozy things creep out and lives are at stake… because things aren’t what they seem.

The good; the set, I love Alien so much because of the sterile quality that the sets gave. So it’s nice to this theme revisited.
The actors are great, they act the crap out this movie. Fassbender as the android David is wonderful, I also like that he spends his free time watching Lawrence of Arabia. There are a lot of nods to previous Alien movies, most of which are the Engineers.

The bad; ohh, ohhhh, where to start? I know, Lindelof, please stop writing features, I blame you for Cowboys and Aliens, and now you can add Prometheus to that list.

The opening consists of an Engineer… a tall muscular pasty bald greek adonis… he opens a coffee thermos and then proceeds to ingest the black oil from The X-Files, he starts convulsing and then falls in to the water fall. His body starts to decay, what was the purpose of this scene? We never revisit it.

*SPOILERS* and there are plenty.
The producing powers of Ridley Scott and Walter Hill could not mask the lackluster writing of Lindelof, this movie is much like any Shyamalan movie, wonderful set up in the first act, but please, learn to write a third act.
When the “alien” finally shows up, I didn’t want it, because the movie didn’t earn the right to show us that.
The characters are very very cardboard, which in the right hands (James Cameron ala Avatar) are actually ok, but here we get a geologist who gets lost in the caves trying to get back to the spaceship… when he’s the one that mapped the caves with his Phantasm-like mapping spheres.
He’s lost with the biologist and while they’re trapped in the caves due to a storm, they come across a tentacle-like snake creature that pops out of the black ooze, he’s drawn to it like candy, ummm what? It’s an alien world, beware!
Charlize Theron looks great in her skin tight space suit, but she looks an awful lot like David, the android, so throughout the movie we’re led to believe she could be an android, but she’s not… why do I care? This goes nowhere.
They find an Engineer, Space-Jockey for those who know, in stasis. As soon as they wake him up he starts killing everyone… why?
The female lead scientist deduces that the Engineers created humans… they then created the xenomorphs… they then want to send the xenomorphs to Earth to kill the humans, but they changed their minds… how did she figure that out?
The Prometheus’ crew just up in arms decides that they must sacrifice themselves to save Earth, by ramming their ship in to the Engineers’ ship, we hardly got to know these guys, let alone that they would be in character by sacrificing themselves.
The Engineers’ ship is shaped like a horseshoe, it crashes to the planet on its side and starts to roll, if you’re running away from this rolling horseshoe… run to the left… or run to the right… not in a zigzag in the exact path of the rolling horseshoe spaceship. Then the rolling stops and it’s now falling on its side, run in the middle, where there’s space inbetween the two ends of the horseshoe. I guess you can be book smart but not street smart.
Then, David’s decapitated head and body are taken by the lead female scientist, Dr. Shaw – that’s her name! and go in to another space ship, what is this? Another odd couple roadtrip movie in space? And this was the tag of that? Sigh…

Overall, skip this movie, save your money. The movie poses questions and interesting topics but never addresses any of them. It’s like someone threw in all the ideas about space exploration and questioning human beings’ origin in the grand scheme of things, and then just left them there without actually pursuing the answers. There are some great things in this movie, but unlike Kingdom of Heaven, I don’t think a director’s cut can make this movie coherent or enjoyable. But don’t take it from me, check this out as well.

Thanks for this one Brian;


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