machete – the trailer was the best part…

Saw Machete last night after work… not so much, sorry.

Here’s the short of it.  A Federale is on a mission to rescue this girl, he’s fighting the corrupt cops in Mexico as well as a Crime Boss, turns out everyone is on the Crime Boss’ payroll, so he’s screwed.  He ends up on the streets a a day laborer, who is then picked up for a job in a conspiracy against a radical senator.  They try to frame him in an assassination attempt, surprise surprise, everything’s connected to the Crime Boss… who is Steven Seagal.  And then whackyness ensues.

The good; it’s an all star cast.  Danny Trejo plays the titular Machete.  Robert De Niro is Senator McLaughlin.  Jessica Alba is Sartana – an immigration agent.  Steven Seagal is Torrez.  Michelle Rodriguez is Luz – and underground rebel.  Jeff Fahey is Booth, the Senator’s aid.  Cheech Marin is a Padr the priest.  Don Johnson is Stillman – a militia extremist.  Lindsay Lohan is Booth’s daughter.  And Tom Savini is the local mercenary for hire.

So on top of this smorgasbord of a cast, the action is over the top.  At one point Machete uses the intestines of a bad guy to repel to a lower floor.

That’s, that’s about it…

The bad; what a waste of a great trailer.  The best thing from the Grindhouse experiment was the Machete trailer.  Now we finally get the full movie, and I wish we still just had that fake trailer.  The story is way too complicated for the genre, and it’s not scratched up, only the beginning is… why?  There were also some questionable camera angles.  Certain shot of Danny Trejo looked like they were staged to hide the fact that he couldn’t move as fast or quickly.  The film seemed to just meander through the motions.  It could’ve been a social commentary parable on the political state of things wrapped in a grindhouse film.  But it feels more like an exercise in homage and over the top action.  And the ending was the biggest let down of all, so anti-climactic.

Don’t bother with this one, just keep the trailer as the only version of this movie.



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